Home Alone

I saw a Proxy get defeated by a doorknob today. It was hilarious.

To elaborate, one of the precautions I took following my beating in order to stop it ever happening again was to create a variety of traps around the house. Tripwires. Rudimentary laser activated devices. Windows that don’t take kindly to being smashed or opened. Seemingly innocent objects you do not want to touch, and more I won’t say.

Speaking of the penultimate one, this unfortunate found that the doorknobs are electrified. I didn’t actually see him per se, but there was a buzz that went on for some time until I remembered what it was and cut the current, followed by the sound of someone falling over on the doorstep. I wasn’t sure how much voltage was ‘not enough’, so I’d just connected it to the mains.

Of course, they could have easily not been a Proxy, but that then begs the question of why they ignored the big ‘DANGER KEEP OUT: NO RESPONSIBILITY TAKEN FOR THE RESULTS OF IGNORING THIS SIGN’ sign on the gate. It’s not exactly missable; I put reflector strips on it just in case.

Tall, dark and slender also made an appearance, hovering outside a window. I didn’t dare take my eyes off him, but eventually I blinked and he was gone. I opened the front door half expecting him to suddenly be there, but there was nothing. Not even a collapsed Proxy. I presume they’d recovered enough to walk away. If you’re reading this, I recommend salve for the burn you no doubt have on one hand.

~Med