Showing posts with label why does everything happen at once. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why does everything happen at once. Show all posts

Sunday, 30 November 2014

What Now?



We made our way to the location I heard we could find Black at from a mostly reliable source. An old apartment building awaiting demolition in the Red Zone. I had loaded up on everything I had that could be used as a weapon or an infiltratory tool while still being able to move unencumbered, but the preparation turned out to be moot. It was a trap, and we were quickly surrounded by at least ten with weapons all pointed at various parts of our anatomy, and from a glint in the window of a busted skyscraper in the corner of my field of vision, those were only the ones we could see.

“I surrender,” said Carter. It wasn’t something to deride, because I wasn’t sure if the orders not to kill me were still in effect and in any case they certainly wouldn’t extend to him.

“Cute.” The sound of boots, and the group parted, just enough to show Smugface’s smug face. “You think you have a choice.” An equally smug looking brunette girl with very piercing blue eyes walked calmly next to him. From the way the body language shifted around me, I guessed she was either second in command or a visiting VIP.

“Well,” Smugface said, hands in pockets. “Fancy meeting you here.”

I gave him a flat stare, because I knew coincidence had nothing to do with it. I’d been fed bad information, and the worst part was that Carter was in danger because of my recklessness. “Black isn’t here, is he?” I said.

He grinned, which was a bad sign. “Oh, no. Firebug told you he’d be here, and even though he’s…”

“A pyromaniac twit?” suggested second in command.

He snapped his fingers. “Exactly. Even though we have to keep him locked in a cupboard, he’s no liar.” There was a pause. “He doesn’t have the space to fit the concept inside his head along with all the ‘ooh shiny’. What did you do with him, by the way?”

I shifted guiltily. I hadn’t told Carter, but he’d been locked inside the safehouse when I burnt it down. I’d forgotten I’d left him in there until I heard the screaming, and by then it was too late. From the sound of it, though, it was the way he would have wanted to go.

“Ah, I guess we have to get a new one. Shame.” Despite the apparent levity of the words, there was something deadly running underneath them. Smugface was not happy to hear of the late Firebug’s demise. Or, read of it from my face. Whatever.

“We could have this one right here,” Second said mischievously, pointing at me. “Klingon promotion.” I narrowed my eyes and decided to cut to the chase.

“Black. Where is he? Where are you keeping him? What have you done with him?”

“Ask him yourself. Skoll!

The crowd parted just enough again, and there he was, the girl from the hospital, Grey, hanging from his arm. They both were glaring daggers at me.

“Black?”

“Well, looks like this is going to be a very touching reunion, so we’ll just go and take out the trash, give you three some privacy.” They began hauling Carter off. “Wait!” I said. “Let him go, he’s got nothing to do with this!” I moved towards him and faster than I could blink my arms were pinned and a knife was at my throat. Grey, I guessed, from the colour of the hoodie on the arms doing so.

“No can do! He’s a very valuable lesson for anyone who tries and works with you.”

“The lesson being,” a soft voice I didn’t recognize sounded next to my ear as I watched Carter and the rest go around a street corner and disappear and I turned my head as little as was allowed to me to see it was Black. “That anyone who does has their lives ruined because of you.” The tone was sharp and acerbic.

“Black…”

“My name is Skoll,” he hissed. “Not some petty little half assed moniker you decided to call your pet proxy.” To my other side Grey hissed in affirmation. “And my sister, my actual sister, who you almost killed, is Hati.

“I despise you,” said sister said, and the words practically dripped with loathing. And it was not unwarranted. I licked dry lips.

Skoll,” I said, the name sounding unfamiliar to my ear. “I was only trying to help you get better… to make up for…”

“Something you willfully did to me in the first place?” Anger ran through the words like a river. “You didn’t try very hard now, did you? I was nothing but an experiment to you, don’t lie.”

And now I was getting angry. My hands curled into fists. “I’m not! What I did to you was terrible, and I tried to rectify it, and maybe I got distracted…” He scoffed. “No! Listen! I got distracted, I get distracted by everything, I can’t focus on any one thing and it’s screwed up my life even before I met you, but I never stopped looking for you, I did things I’m not proud of, because I thought you might be hurt or worse and I did genuinely care!

He seemed taken aback, and then his face hardened.

“You cared about your pet. Fetch, Black. Sit. Stay.” The tone was mocking. “You cared about your so called Cure; “Imagine if the side effects could be mitigated!” I remember you saying. I remember everything.

You,” he said, prodding me in the chest with a finger. “Never cared about me. Because you never knew me. And if you had really wanted to do the right thing you would have given me back to my family. But no. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. Well now I’m going to enjoy watching what they do to you.”

“I… you’re right. You’re right, I’m sorry.” When had I stopped thinking of him as a person, rather than a collection of ideals? Had I ever in the first place? I looked down at my feet, the fight gone out of me. I’d only ever wanted to do the right thing, and it seemed like all I did instead was fuck up.

“Too late.” The words were like a snap of teeth. “And while I’d love to stay and watch you realize exactly what a terrible person you are, we’re on a schedule. Hati.”

Movement, something sharp piercing my neck, and then only blackness.

====

Waking up from being dosed with tranquilizer is never an instant and always an unpleasant experience. My head throbbed, my mouth tasted like something fuzzy was growing in it, and my limbs felt unresponsive and leaden. Although, as I tried to move and found myself restricted, that last one was probably more the ropes tying me to the chair. I groaned, and managed to force my eyes open.

“Welcome back, sleeping beauty,” said a disinterested voice. It belonged to Second who was sitting in a chair across the suspiciously plain white room from me, reading a Popular Science magazine and sadly not being bound to it. I decided she must be my evil twin, so to speak.

“Thousand Eyes,” she said, finally looking up from it. “And of course I know who you are. I’d shake your hand, but I guess you’re a little tied up.”

“How long have you been thinking of that one?” I said, in the complete opposite of a good mood. “Why not untie me and we can introduce ourselves properly,” I suggested.

“Mmm, nice try,” she said, returning to the magazine and flipping the page. “I guess I should go and tell the others you’re awake, but eh. After this article.”

Wow, she really was my evil twin. My expression in response to this could basically be summed up as “: /”

“Why are you even here,” I said flatly.

“Well,” she said, not even looking up, “someone needed to keep an eye on you while you were out, and I could spare two. Who better to do so?” She looked up and grinned, and it was a hyena grin. The magazine was folded and set aside. “Elsewhere, they’d call me an oracle. Here, I’m just the person who knows things. I watch, and I’ve been watching you for a looooong time.” Well, that was mildly creepy. But your standard average proxy creepy. “I’ve been wanting to meet you properly for a while,” she continued. “Oh, your past is interesting…” I stiffened at the word, and her grin became a knowing smile that said plain as day she knew exactly why. “But your future…” she gave a delighted shiver. “I’m privileged to see it, I really am.”

For the first time, I didn’t want to know something. I didn’t want to know what that future entailed. “I guess that means you guys are letting me go?” I said, not really expecting an affirmative.

“Well, yeah,” was her response. “We still can’t kill you yet. Doesn’t mean quite a few people don’t want their pound of flesh first, and you’ll probably be getting a crash course in what can be done to someone without killing them.” Her glance at me was sly. “I’m sure with your expertise your imagination can fill in the gaps quite nicely.”

“Oh, and of course,” she said airily, “Your boyfriend’s set to be executed tomorrow.” I spluttered. “Executed!? …boyfriend!?

“Mmhm. Really, the only reason I volunteered to watch you drool for hours was so I could be the one to get to tell you that. Your reaction was worth it!”

Carter was immortal, though. Unless they knew that, and had some way of mitigating that. Or it could all be one massive headgame.

“Well,” she said, getting up from the chair, rolling up the magazine and putting it in her pocket. “Time for me to go. Have fun thinking about how you can’t save him! I’ll,” she pointed at one eye and winked the other, “be seeing you.” She walked around behind me where the back of the chair prevented me turning my head to look, and there was the sound of a door opening and shutting. She was laughing all the way.

Fifteen minutes later, it opened and shut again, and there was Hati, with a red toolbox and a small smile on her otherwise dour face.

=====

I won’t say what happened next. I’m sure you can all guess, and I don’t want to either remember or talk about it more than I have to. The only important part is that my reaction to pain had not changed. Of course, when you’re tied in a chair, you can’t exactly retaliate against the person lovingly tending to you. I’m sure they found my snarling and struggling very entertaining.

Until the lightbulb blew, showering me with glass. I didn’t care. Everything went black, and I felt the knifeblade pause. Electric sparks flickered between the exposed terminals, and in those brief flashes, shadows looked wrong, something I cared about only in hindsight. Sharp and jagged and mine. I pulled against the ropes, and this time the ropes gave, the sound of them snapping thread by thread. Hati pointed the knife at my throat. I spat blood at her, and then lunged.

It buried itself in my shoulder, but I had her by the throat. The door opened, admitting someone with a gun, who fired a warning shot that cracked the tiled wall and echoed terribly in the confined space, and as my attention shifted Hati vanished from my grip in a cloud of black leaves.
The light died again, and the next time it flickered I was inches from the gunman’s face, teeth bared in a rictus snarl. That close, and that fast, he could not raise the length of the gun quick enough to avoid having his eyes gouged out. He howled.

I grabbed the gun from his loose grip and viciously slammed the butt of it up into his face, before my attention turned to the observation window, behind which Smugface could be seen. I punched the blastproof glass, and it cracked. My hand was bloody and broken, but I didn’t care; I struck again, deepening the cracks and causing a chunk to fall out. Smugface had taken out a cellphone at the first strike, and as I pried at the glass and he ran for the door, I could catch the tail end of a “Kill Carter, now!”

When he was gone I growled and leapt through the glass, cutting myself on its jagged edges, and made to follow. But as soon as I ran through the door, everything changed.

On the other side, the building I was in was decrepit. Large holes in the sides gave an unparalleled aerial view of a rusted, ruined version of Christchurch. A blood red sun oozed in the east, staining the entire sky that colour, and the wind that blew dust and ground glass into my face howled mournfully.

Moreover, my thoughts were suddenly clear. Every single one of my wounds hurt and hurt like they should, clamoring for my attention. Going through the door had turned off the feral state as surely as flipping a switch. As I turned back towards it, the wind slammed it shut, and I could see a piece of paper fluttering on it. I plucked it off, staining it with blood.

You have one day.

I never want to see you again.

I recognized the handwriting. Black’s. Skoll’s. The paper crinkled as my hand curled around it. I carefully folded it and placed it in my pocket, before opening the door again to find the same room I’d left… if it had been aged by the elements for forty years. I looked back at the ominous sun. Was it just me or had it risen a little further in the time I’d been here?

Red in the morning, shepard’s warning, I thought.

I set off, with some difficulty because the elevators were naturally out of service and parts of the stairs had gone missing in places. Judging by the speed the sun was moving, I had no less than five hours to find Carter’s location before… something happened. Presumably the collapse of the loop. On foot. And then I had to get Carter out of whatever situation he was in. While injured. All of it combined a very tall order.

I had a good idea of where they were holding Carter. I had not been idle this entire time, and I had a comprehensive mental map of all the proxy bases in Christchurch; they were unlikely to have taken him outside of it. In the end, I narrowed it down to the most likely option, crossed my fingers, and hoped I was correct.

The streets were incredibly dusty, coated in five inches of silver grey silt in places. The place was isolated, empty.  Walking on flayed feet hurt. I made my way to an abandoned, beat up looking car, smashed the window in with a handy piece of nearby rubble, and opened the door. And after a few tries at trying to remember how hotwiring worked, managed to get it going… for five seconds. The engine coughed, spluttered, and died, and would not turn over again for love nor money. I banged the dashboard and saw why; the vibration jostled the fuel dial and it slid down to point at E. Typical. The fuel must have evaporated.

It took roughly eighteen more tries before I found a car that had enough fuel, had full tires, didn’t appear to have any other physical damage and actually worked. Instead of heading straight for Carter’s presumed location, I made a few stops first. Often, what I was looking for was destroyed or missing, but I managed to quickly scrape up what I needed.

The sun was halfway down from its zenith when I was attacked. Dark, shambling things, vaguely humanoid but… wrong. Desiccated. One swiped at me with misshapen claws and I threw a brick at it, which bought me enough time to get back to the car. They didn’t stop coming, slinking out of the woodwork, the worse than condemned buildings, and getting anywhere soon became an exercise in running them over. They made no sound at all.

I arrived at the ruins of the proxy base before the sun set, and couldn’t stop. I kept driving around the block around it, hearing claws scratch off the paint and crack the glass. They were thick enough in number that little but black could be seen out the windows and the car was definitely struggling to keep moving. Eventually, it was too much for it, and the engine cut out. And all I could do was sit there and listen as seams were pried at around me, and count down the minutes.

The collapse of the loop was sudden and jarring, especially since my sudden reappearance in the middle of the no longer post apocalypse themed street did not endear me to the car that crashed into my rear end. I got my rough bag of goodies, pulled on my gas mask and scarpered, jumping over a fence.

Mercaptans are some of the most godawful substances known to man. To say that they stink would be to say that the ocean is ‘a little wet’. The people who work with them are seldom invited to parties, because even fifty showers is never enough, and any stained clothing can only really be burnt as there is no hope of ever salvaging it.

The one I had, t-butyl mercaptan, is used in small amounts to ‘flavour’ natural gas and give it its distinctive smell, as gas is pretty near odourless in its pure form.  I checked the direction of the wind, moved upwind, uncorked, and then recorked the vial. That was enough. I hoped Carter would forgive me for this.

Naturally, if you smell gas in a house, you get out of there pretty fast. I couldn’t give them the opportunity to transport Carter out via the Path before I could get to him, however, so I tossed in a canister of homemade smoke and tear gas through a window for extra confusion, before kicking in a different window and leaping through, every single part of me voicing it’s complaints about all the moving it was doing.

No need to check all the rooms; he’d be in the basement. There were shouts and cries all through the house, but with the smoke covering me it was easy to avoid being seen. They’d left the basement door open in their haste to get out, and sure enough, there was Carter, tied to a chair which was bolted to the floor. I’d bought boltcutters with me, but I was still glad it was rope rather than chain. I tossed him the second gas mask, although how much good it would be after exposure I wasn’t sure, and began sawing through the ropes with a knife. In minutes he was free, and we raced back up the stairs, out through the back door, and across the lawn.

“Stop!” I heard someone shout, and suddenly there were bullets chasing us. I stopped, and turned. “Walk back,” said the voice, whose throat was clearly raw. I slowly reached in my pocket, and pulled out a lighter.

“Let us go!” I shouted. “Or I’ll light us all up! Don’t think I won’t!” There was hesitation. I slowly began walking backwards, tugging Carter’s arm to do the same, holding up the lighter all the way until we were out of shot. Or so I thought. There was one last report of a gun; Carter turned and fired back… I don’t know where he got his gun. Probably picked it up while we were escaping the house. Then we began running like hell, although I tripped and to my embarrassment, and probably his, fell heavily against Carter. That’s when I noticed the blood seeping through his shirt, stemming from the abdominal area.

“You’re bleeding,” I said, stupidly. The world was starting to become fuzzy at the edges, the adrenalin of the past hours that had been keeping me going these last hours beginning to wear off.

He looked down. “I’m bleeding,” he replied, sounding surprised by this revelation. The blood was profusely leaving the wound, dripping down and leaving a trail of red splatters on the grass and concrete behind us.

“Nononono…” I said, as he fell forward, and I barely managed to catch him in time. “Come on, Carter, you need to stay awake.” Slapping him across the face did nothing. I looked back and forth and saw the crumpled body of the man he’d shot, running towards him and rifling through his pockets for anything that could help. Nothing immediately, but I took the gun and its remaining bullets for later examination, as something that could hurt Carter was a worry and needed looking into. Doing it in a weird loop universe was one thing, and doing so in a universe that contained cop cars that I could already hear the sirens of was another, but I broke into and hotwired another car; there was no other choice if I wanted us to make good our escape and treat him quickly enough.

It was touch and go for a while. Carter lost a lot of blood; thankfully, we had the same type and I was a compulsive hoarder; I had enough to set up a quick, rough and dirty transfusion, and tried not to think about the azoth he likely would be receiving with it. Fortunately, the bullet had gone through his liver and gotten lodged in it; that would regenerate nicely, and there was no nasty exit wound to deal with. Taking it out would do more harm than good, so I left it in. If it had been his stomach or guts, digestive juices would have started eating him from the inside out, and it would have been a slow painful death for him if he didn’t go to the hospital. I did what little I knew how, sterilized and bandaged the wound, applied a wrapped ice pack to it for pressure and cold, and waited.

I had a lot to think about.

Friday, 9 August 2013

Experiment #4: Vaccine Part Two

So, I drop off the radar for a while. Try and live normally for a bit. Do some study, try to get my tanking grades up to par. Look after Black, keep trying to write his story. Continue trying to get Rinforzando to cooperate.

And then I check my P.O. Box, and find a certain package. With a certain name on it, and a handwritten note with condolences of Jack. Which can only mean one thing: I've won the bet, and Carter is dead.

I have his notes here in front of me. Meticulously organized. Engineer's handwriting. His i's look like j's. Diagrams done in neat pencil. I pore through them, and I see both similarities to my own work, and things I'd never even have thought of in a million years, and I wonder what would have happened if we could have worked together, trading notes instead of hoarding them in this game. But then, he always was secretive. There is a very obvious gap where my file should be.

He was one of the two I considered candidates for the Sage title, you know. But then bad things historically have happened when a Sage gives titles to people other than their successor. He was also the first person I really met here.

I find I still can't think of him as truly dead. Can't help but catch myself thinking this is a deliberate ruse, or an accidental mistake. That'll pass, probably.

Kendra's gone too, but there's still a little hope for her, if Chaos can be taken off the pills. Rose has offered to send me a sample of some, and I've taken her up on it. Lily's past the point of no return. Morningstar and Redlight are, as we all know, still out and about, with Redling sightings in my territory.

...

I'm accelerating my program, and will be starting on human trials shortly. Thanks to the rats I now have rat antibodies to azoth. I also still have some human antibodies to same from Carter left, but I'm reluctant to use those as they cannot be replaced. I also have some secondary rat antibodies; that is rat antibodies with human azoth antibodies as their target. These will be fluorescently tagged and used for identification purposes later.

For now, I will be injecting the primary rat antibodies into myself to determine their effect. Black does not have any azoth left in him and so is not a suitable candidate, and I've learnt the drawbacks of having a catch and release program; the local proxies involved tend to learn from their mistakes, those mistakes being springing one of my traps. They have started to leave disparaging notes. I have not been able to obtain any for this experiment.

But maybe that's for the best. This is uncharted territory, and I don't want any incorrect production or unforeseen side effects on my part to result in any death or injury other than possibly my own. It's why I've yet to use the Cortexiphan I've stockpiled.

Wish me luck. I'll periodically update this post throughout the process.

EDIT: Roughly two hours after the injection, and the area around my inner arm is red and inflamed. Starting to not feel well, like my head's been stuffed with cotton wool. Very thirsty all of a sudden.

EDIT: tried to get some things. Stood up too fast. Didn't manage to get the bucket. there's black everywhere. It's too hot. Head's killing me.


i am in the vreezer. it won't stop. it won't stop


i wonder what would happen if the lid shut and stuck me here forvere and I suffocatedc 



the floor is nice. red and black isn’t. It wont go away nomatter how I shout my throat hurts














h e lp





Sunday, 26 May 2013

Hectic Week



Wow, a lot of things have been happening at once. Sanna, Spyre and Carter all got kidnapped, and all had their respective situations relatively resolved. Kendra’s on the move. Johnny interviewed me. Incognito was severely injured and then severely healed. Some new people arrived.

R got both his arms removed. I was starting work on a prosthetic for Carter when I read he was already set up for one of a quality better than I could ever manage so I redirected what I’d already done into making some for him. My basement’s starting to get a little cluttered, what with the books on robotics lying open and bookmarked to an inch of their lives all over the place, along with wires, servos and shaped bits of metal. This is on top of everything that was there already. Anyway, when it’s convenient send me your measurements, mate.

Adam, I had a look over at those notes you sent me. You’re right in what the doctor was trying to do. He’d been injecting azoth (he calls it ‘the substance’ but it’s pretty obvious what it is) into the brains of people who came to the place for medical attention or were taken off the streets. Directly into the brains; he even installed little plexiglass windows in their heads so he could see what was going on. He’d keep them under heavy sedation for long periods of time, and the text later shows why; as you said, he was failing and badly. The subjects which received azoth in this manner were violent and unstable, the complete opposite of trainable, and he had a few close calls by the looks of it. His writing is dry and clinical, but I can still practically see the frustration and fear wafting off the words.

The section on the techniques used to break some of his ‘patients’ is interesting from a psychological standpoint and horrifying from an ethical one. He states that quite a few of the Proxies holding him hostage chipped in with suggestions. In the end it seems he could either get an obedient but harmless pet or an incredibly dangerous but uncontrollable one. Those he would euthanize when it was clear no one was going to get any use out of them, although apparently some are still extant. Any idea what happened to them?

The experimental notes stop abruptly; there’s no indication he was going to continue these experiments and no horror story style “I am about to perform this stupid and extremely dangerous action for no reason save leaving bloodstains on the paperwork or screams on the last few seconds of the tape”, so I presume that was where he wrote in the journal about his decision to escape. All in all, I’ve learnt some things to keep in mind in my own experiments on rats.

Ira, those blood samples of yours that you sent me are… odd, to say the least. I know you confirmed that they really were yours when I asked but I feel the need to ask again. Their copper levels are slightly over the far edge of within human range, which seems to be the ‘baseline’ for Runners. I’ve run the test a total of twenty times; it’s an average concentration of 26.11 μmol/L with a standard deviation of 1.2 μmol/L. From what you’ve said of your experiences on your blog, there should be more than that, a lot more. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that your blood azoth levels are not high enough for what you say happened to have happened. Make of it what you will.

All of this is leading up to the visit by none other than Fracture. He just turned up on my doorstep. I looked through the peephole, was basically ‘nope’, and walked back into the living room. You have to remember that unless someone’s posted pictures or a sufficiently detailed description nobody knows what anybody looks like.

He knocked, and I yelled “Nobody’s buying what you’re selling!” I couldn’t pretend to not be home since the fire was sending smoke up the chimney, so that was the next best thing.

So he teleported inside with a smarmy “Is that so?” I grabbed the taser from my pocket and told him in no uncertain terms that unless he was selling free hits with a taser he could teleport right back out again.

To make an already long post slightly shorter it’s probably best I put the rest of the conversation in transcript mode and compress the unimportant bits.

Fracture: Don't be so foolish. You invited me here. You told me where you live, how to identify your house, what to avoid, and all the great things you have here. How could I resist?

I thunked my head on the doorpost.

Me: Oh god. I know that syntax. That you, Fracture?
Fracture: You know my syntax? Feral robot sage?
Me: After a while, you can pick up voice through text. Why are you here?
Fracture: How many times to I have to say it, you invited me here.

I gave up.

Me: Alright, fine. So I did. Tea, coffee or milo?
Fracture: Just a tea cup, dear. I'll do the rest.

I threw a mug his way and he then mixed something up using hot water from the tap. I made two cups of tea and went into the lounge. Fracture followed and proceeded to hog the entire couch. There’s always something about a psychologist lying on a couch that’s a little funny. I set one of the drinks on the floor next to Black, then sat on the coffee table and took a sip of the other.

He then asked me about the deal I’d made with Jack; what exactly I’d lost and gained. I told him.

Me: Protection for a person and a place, until I die. You'll excuse me if I don't tell you exactly who, although you might be able to guess.
Fracture: You and here?
Me: Hahahano. Neither’s that valuable.

He dodged the question when I asked exactly why he’d made me a Sage, I teased him about his hat, and he tried to ship me and Black. I sunk that one with a flamethrower. Then there was a bit of a discussion about Slender Sickness.

Speaking of Black, at some point he’d stopped looking at the book in front of him and had started paying attention to us. I only noticed when Fracture made a ‘zsst’ noise at him, and then pointed away.

Black: Who's he?
Me: A friend, sort of.

My face was basically saying, in big neon letters, “NOT”.

Fracture: Who are you?
Black: Black.

And then what spark had been in Black’s eyes flickered out and he returned to reading. It was the longest I’d seen him lucid, and I said so.

Fracture: I caught his interest because I'm doing something he thinks I shouldn't be.

I thanked him for the book idea, and he explained a little on A.I. psychology. Machines given a game to play without any instruction on the rules or methods of determining the rules would have only a 40 percent success rate. This would jump to an 80 percent success rate if they were given the rules… and nothing else, not even a method to read them.

He then demonstrated by mentioning aspects of the book to Black, which got him responding again. I joined in, until I hit a snag:

Me: Are you liking it so far?
Black: I... don't know.
Fracture:  He has no context for liking the book. The book never references how it feels about itself.

Clearly, this wasn’t going to be easy. Fracture asked about the point of view of the book, and I told him it was a shifting limited third person perspective.

Fracture: Effectively teaching him to think like several different people all with different morals and goals and outlooks...
Me: Ouch. Yeah, if I'd realised what reading was doing to him, I'd've picked something else.
Fracture: You know what you should do then?
Me: Nonfiction?
Fracture: Uh... no. You're too confined. No imagination. You need to write him a story. One about a boy named Black.
Me: I see. I reckon I could do that.
Fracture: See, he isn't a true hollow. A hollow can't be what it was, traditionally. The strain that broke it is too painful to return to. It’s like trying to get someone to walk on a broken leg. They'll always fall. But Black just sprained his ankle. You just have to show him how to walk it off.
Me: …thanks, Fracture. Hang on.
Fracture: Whatcha got?
Me: I hate owing anyone anything so here. You wanted to know a bit more about my past, there's a clue. Pretty obscure.

No, I won’t tell you what I gave him. You can probably guess anyway, if you’ve read particularly carefully. He then asked for the notes on Black’s recovery once he’d made a full one, which I agreed to. We said goodbye and then he disappeared, as if he’d stepped between the frames of a film.

So I’ve got a story to write, but for now I think I’ll go to bed. I’ve been running on empty for some time now; the last time I think I slept a little was two days ago, and things have been getting fuzzier accordingly. I keep forgetting important things. Accidentally activated one of my own traps the other day; fortunately it was nonlethal. Heh, one of the lecture benches at university even had NOT ENOUGH SLEEP and NEVER ENOUGH SLEEP as a reply carved into it, so I’m taking that as a sign to get some. I’m not doing anyone any favors burning myself out like this, so for now, goodnight.